I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
