make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
