Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
