Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
