We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
