??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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