I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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