Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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