someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
