wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize