I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My cat gives me a boner
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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