Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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