Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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