She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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