woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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