is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
