I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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