It's Friday. Sex?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize