Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is Oprah even human
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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