I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
