Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
