i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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