Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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