I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
