She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
