I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
