Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
