The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
