Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
