im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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