Barsexuality is the new black.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
