She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize