So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
