I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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