Who did Billy Mays play for?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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