can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
