I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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