Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
is it fun? or sober?
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