i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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