i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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