Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize