i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize