i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
