That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
