white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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