what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
