i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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