In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
