found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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