Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
