She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
