Nicole vs. Life
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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