Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
