i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
