I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
