i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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