Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am available for nakedness
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