HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it's like iHOP with fire
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
