Me. At least after what I've been through.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
