He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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