that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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