I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
